Why do we choose the person we do?
I spent about 8 hours cleaning out stuff from the master bath and the upstairs one. By stuff I mean things I won't use and should be given to someone who will make good use of them.
Among what I discarded was about $3 to $4 thousands of supplements. Also, about 4,000 anti acid tablets! Enough styling mousse to style the hair of everyone in Staunton. First aids supplies to outfit a small emergency room.
It occurred to me that sometimes as we age, we decide we must make sure we don't run out!
I wonder if that's our way of dealing with the latter years of our lives and the sense that time is running out? Of course time doesn't run out. Rather our bodies may wear out. Yet tomorrow, someone may discover a way we could extend our lifespan to 150 or 200 years! Likely? No! Possible? Yes!
But I digress.
What I'm getting at is this We store up for the future what we think we will need when we can't provide for those needs.
More simply put, we want to be safe. And as I sorted through stuff today, it dawn on me that's why we choose the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with. Stop and think of all the different combinations of people that hook up together. We all have wondered and still do as to how "those two hooked up." They are so different. They can't possible be happy together. He's so homely and she's so pretty. They won't be happy together. What does he see in her. But it does make perfect sense if we consider it's all about safety. Well that's not very romantic? But it is the most romantic possible!
For in this living together we are opening ourselves to another, making ourselves defenseless, saying I'm willing to trust you with the inner most part of me. I'm in it for the long haul. Why is this so important? Jesuit Priest Father John Powell in his book,"Why am I afraid to tell you who I really am?" said it best. The answer he gives is "if I tell you who I really am (you know that part of me that no one has ever seen and I don't like about me) and you reject me, I have nothing left and I am no more." I first read this in the late 1960s. And I just sat there for 30 minutes and thought about and thought about it. I think about it most every day, but regrettably life gets in the way at times.
We can look at all the varied reasons we give for moving away from being together, but it still boils down to a safety issue. I just want to interject there are those relationships where it's best to run as fast as we can from them.
Think what the world would be like if each of us accepted instead of rejected the other. But what if the other won't go along? Unfortunately, or fortunately, because you know better you have to be the one to accept and not reject and that's so risky. I assure you! It will be worth it. It's true Agape Love!
Have a wonderful day!
Ted D.
